We, the hope – a poem

People see my silence on the surface
she’s happy, she’s calm
inside I’m a storm
external silence – internally violent
a war, battle lines unclear
I’m in the trenches alone
there’s no hope left

I’m a graveyard of hope
how can I feel hopeful
when every day is the same
the same pain, the same war in my brain
each day an attack – again and again
am I insane? do others feel the same way?
how can I continue when all I feel is shame?

I don’t want to die
but I don’t want to be alive
living in this pain
– I can’t even see
a way out of this chaos
there’s no hope, it withered and died

I’ve learned the art of a lie
just smile and say I’m fine
I hold a secret inside dewy palms
– I’m a mess inside
this war in my mind
has me so blind, I can’t see who I’m fighting
I’ll never make it out – It’s frightening 

I’m petrified of myself
– I’m the invisible enemy
when I’m gone – left behind – “broken” is my legacy
the complexity of thought has me tied up in it’s devilry
inside my head, I’m running from my captor
who will punish me without empathy
my destiny is written,
there’s no way out,
it’s the death penalty…

You’re in pain, this is plain to see.
But I’m here: Hope, armed with clemency
from your enemy. You. Constantly.
To that apparent death penalty
love and truthful glue
to mend that broken legacy
Together. You. We.

You’re pardoned. A lifeline to set you free.
Your last minute reprieve
When logic is not your friend,
in the vortex of hopelessness
it can be hard to believe
that you are NOT alone
impossible as that seems to perceive.
But hope is there to be gleaned.

And when you wear that mask
to hide the battle inside, raging
we hold onto hope for you, reservoirs of it.
When you feel depleted
in stormy seas
an emergency signal.
We hear it. Please.
Come ashore, friend. And unclench.

As we are sure, “crazy” ain’t your thing.
You’re just a human being,
unseeing of a way out –
Except to Just. Stop. Being.
Please, reconsider ending it
all and think of this planet, this blue ball
is better with you in it. Your life as it is now – stop and change it.
my brothers. My sisters -those scars and bruises
calluses and blisters – make you what you are.

We need you here to take
those hits and life’s shoddy bits
that fortify you and make
you whole. Better. It’s
another you the other
side of this – you who
can hold space for yourself.
Do more than exist
and soar, selfless.
Fly high and write that
legacy in the sky:
“I survived
I now know why.
To tell the tale and
to all gathered wide.
This devilry is fiction
and has a better side.
A light shining, a
likeminded tribe”.

Come, friend. Build a bridge with us.
Hewn from the bricks of unsaid words
spanning wastelands, and fears yet heard.
Walk it, talk it, write it and speak it with us
hope waits the other side of this crossing.
No fuss. Not we. It’s no small thing.
What you do. But we are here with you.
With a torch, cutting bright sway
Through the doom
holding hope, and space, day by day.

© Sammie & Paul of PoetsIN

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